Disney knows how to channel its energy
On the Mark — By Craig
Marks
On the Disney Channel Web site,
www.disneychannel.com,
children were invited to record their best Halloween
screams along with a few words. My 8-year-old daughter
wanted to do it but wasn’t sure what message to
include.
“How about, ‘Trick or Treat’?” I suggested, which seemed better than my first thought, “UNLEASH YOUR GRIP ON US, YOU MERCILESS, BASIC-CABLE OVERLORD.”
Best not to get on the wrong side of the Disney Channel.
If you have a child between 6 and 14, it’s likely you know the power of the network. Performers who receive a Disney Channel promotional push can begin preparing their stars for the Hollywood Walk of Fame. They will be idolized, poster-ized, and their shows will fill up space on your DVR (Digital Video Recorder) until you can almost hear the machine weeping. (“No more ‘The Suite Life of Zack and Cody,’” I could have sworn I heard the DVR say.)
One recent example of the channel’s power involves Dwayne (the Rock) Johnson, a former wrestler who has played killing machines in a bunch of mediocre movies. To promote his new family film, “The Game Plan,” he appeared in various Disney Channel sitcoms, doing such things as taking part in a child’s tea party and receiving a beauty makeover. The cross marketing worked. By the time his film was released, my daughter and hoards of other children thought of him as a cuddly, 6-foot teddy bear, and the film opened No. 1 at the box office.
The Rock received his spa treatment on “Hannah Montana,” a sitcom about a teen pop singer (Miley Cyrus) who learns that simple, modest pleasures trump rock star extravagance. It’s a valuable lesson, and many of the show’s young fans have benefactors — otherwise known as grandparents — willing to pay hundreds of dollars so that their grandkids can hear the living embodiment of that message in concert.
Tickets for the Jan. 3 Cleveland Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana show went on sale Sept. 29, and my friend Lois was among those arriving early at a TicketMaster outlet for the chance to grab seats before the scalpers swallowed them up. She was one of several grandparents there, which she told me was due to parents being busy at youth soccer games and other activities and because, “It’s the grandparents who have the money.”
Lois did not leave empty handed. Thanks to a persistent ticket clerk who kept clicking away even when the display said “sold out,” she left with four tickets. She doesn’t plan on selling them unless she gets a crazy offer, which she figures may come closer to Christmastime.
My daughter inquired about the concert, but we told her we’re taking a pass. (Instead, we’re taking her to — and this is an actual event — “High School Musical on Ice.”) We explained to her the tickets cost a whole lot, the concert is in the dead of winter and besides, it’s a well known fact that Miley Cyrus’ costumes are made from the hides of Webkinz stuffed animals.
OK, the last part isn’t true, but sometimes, when battling an overwhelming force, extreme measures are called for. I don’t regret saying it, but if I see the Rock coming up our walkway, his manicured nails hidden inside clenched fists, I’m likely to change my mind.
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