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Nothing on TV? Get real

6/13/2013 - West Side Leader
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By Craig Marks

On the Mark — By Craig Marks

It’s summer, which means a new batch of reality shows are set to premiere. Let’s see what awaits us on the tube:

“Approach the Bench” — We follow the busy legal team that handles cases involving members of Cleveland sports teams, be they owners, players or players’ pets. In the first episode, a football player’s pet crustacean sues to remain in the area after his owner joins a West Coast team (“The Case of Joshua Crabbs”).

“Duck Copley” — Bemused Fairlawn residents watch Copley residents try to get past the gate before it closes down on them.

“The Amazing Race” — We observe drivers after they pass the “You Are Now Leaving Cuyahoga Falls” sign.

“The Real School Superintendents of Medina County” — Program may not air due to budget concerns.

“This Old Headquarters” — The five-person “This Old House” crew tackles the 480-acre former Goodyear headquarters. They quickly realize they should have brought more than one bucket of spackle.

“Judge Ye Not” — After weighing in on the lack of need for a second Summit County Juvenile Court judge, Akron City Council and Summit County Council pass a joint resolution stating their opposition to Paula Abdul ever returning to “American Idol.”

“Got Your Number” — Who knows you best — your spouse, the NSA or Turkish cyber terrorists? In a three-way competition, we learn the answer.

“Ash to Ashes” — A look at the life cycle of a Highland Square tree from seed to sapling to towering source of inspiration to stump. “Count the rings,” says the policeman. “After four of them, the call will go into voicemail, so leave a message with your attorney, who’ll get back to you at his earliest convenience.”

“No Prepared Script, Ohio” — The adventures of The Ohio State University president on a speaking tour.

“Hold Up!” — We examine the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s campaign to convince criminals, politicians and regular folk to save their newsworthy actions to days when the newspaper is preparing a home edition. “When you rob a place of business on a Sunday, you’re not only robbing that institution,” says the paper. “You’re robbing many readers of the opportunity to learn of your crime until Wednesday, the next home-delivery date.”

As always, happy viewing.

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